Sunday, December 24, 2006

Happy Holidays from SDC!

Posted by JeanellePaige at 10:49 AM 0 friends stopped by to say... Links to this post
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Thursday, November 23, 2006

Happy Turkey Day!

Posted by JeanellePaige at 6:26 PM 0 friends stopped by to say... Links to this post
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Thursday, November 16, 2006

I am hosting a chat!

Posted by JeanellePaige at 1:29 PM 0 friends stopped by to say... Links to this post
Come to chat with me, Friday, November 17th, 9 PM EST at the DigiScrapDivas chat room for some fun and prizes! There will be some trivia questions and prizes! Also, for everyone who shows up, you will recieve this free gift!

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Hope to see you there!

Wednesday, November 15, 2006

Guess what's coming to DSD!!!

Posted by JeanellePaige at 12:37 PM 0 friends stopped by to say... Links to this post
Digiscrapdivas has a new kit coming out this Friday, the 17th!!
This preview does NOT do the kit justice!! It is PACKED full of goodies and TONS of papers and totally awesome colors for this holiday season!! Don't forget to stop by Friday and grab it!! You will be so glad you did!

Sunday, November 12, 2006

Congrats to my NEW CT!!

Posted by JeanellePaige at 12:25 PM 1 friends stopped by to say... Links to this post
Thank you to everyone who applied. I loved looking through everyone's gallery, there is so much talent!! I chose 10 ladies who I thought would best fit with my designing style. If you weren't chosen it was not because your LO's were not great. I just thought it would be easier for the ladies who already scrap with products that are more like my own to fit into my team. Again, thanks to all who applied!
Now, here are my new CT members!

Congrats ladies! Look out for an email from me soon!

Tuesday, October 31, 2006


Posted by JeanellePaige at 9:35 AM 2 friends stopped by to say... Links to this post

Sunday, October 22, 2006

New Paper pack!

Posted by JeanellePaige at 11:58 AM 2 friends stopped by to say... Links to this post
Hallowgrunge Paper pack!

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Perfect papers for the grungy look your Halloween LO's need!

Wednesday, October 18, 2006

End of October Special!!

Posted by JeanellePaige at 11:44 AM 0 friends stopped by to say... Links to this post

End of October Special!
Spend $10.00 in one order and receive 25% off of that order!

coupon code: EndofOctoberSpecial

Also, whomever spends the most from now through October 31st will be given 25% off any and ALL orders for the WHOLE month of November!

Sound good? Don't forget to visit my home page to see my latest products in case you missed any of them! Happy Shopping! :)

Tuesday, October 17, 2006

LO's from my 3 newest CT members!

Posted by JeanellePaige at 6:20 PM 1 friends stopped by to say... Links to this post
I wanted to share some great LO's with my 3 newest CT members. I don't brag about all of my CT members enough, so I am going to start sharing their amazing work with you all more often.
Here's 2 from Kristin:

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She used my Falloween Kit for this one.

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This one she used a kit I made just for her, The Hunter's Kit.

Here's 2 from Erica:

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She used my Blue Blossom kit for that one.

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This one was made with my Sweet Digi Doodles kit.

Here's 2 from Libby:

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For both of those she used my new Gift Wrapped kit.


Saturday, October 07, 2006

Gift Wrapped, new kit!

Posted by JeanellePaige at 8:59 AM 3 friends stopped by to say... Links to this post
New kit for your Holiday LO's, and great for those Calendar templates!

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Link to the Shoppe!

That's about all I have time for today. I have to do some laundry and pick up because my step kids are coming! Thanks for taking a peek at my new kit!

Saturday, September 30, 2006

Immaculate Conception

Posted by JeanellePaige at 9:10 AM 3 friends stopped by to say... Links to this post
Do you all remember THIS post? You'll have to scroll to the end to see the mice.

Well, the mice are now big, and eating on their own, running around and playing. They've been doing that for about a week or so.

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Aren't they cute? The momma is a brown mouse, the babies are grey. So we were all ready to go stick the cage out in our shed so they can go back into the wild but....

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See that little pinky hanging off the momma nursing? WHAT!?!?
Avery: I see the cute little pink mouse.
Brian: No you don't they're no pink ones.
Avery: Yes I do, it's right there!

So, either the momma was preggo when we saved her and her babies, or one of her babies had already matured enough to reproduce! CRAZY!!
Her nest is so big I can not see how many she had, but I know she had at least 2. Here's one all by his little lonesome:

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The momma came right out and grabbed him and dragged him back into the nest. She kept grabbing the bigger ones and dragging them back into the nest too. It was so funny to watch because as soon as she would get one in, another one would run out. I know exactly how she felt!! LMAO!!! 4 little crazies mice she cant keep under control, hee hee.

So, today we're giving them clean water, extra food, extra TP to make a bigger nest with and sticking the cage out in the shed with the top half slid off. That way, they can either stary there or go. I am sure the momma will stay in there for a little while until her new babies are bigger. It's going to suck not being about to look in and see them. The kids loved learning about them, watching them grow. Maybe it's time for a pet in a cage. Who knows.

Oh, before I forget, in my Shoppe, in the specials section, 15 kits are 50% off and today is the LAST DAY EVER you will be able to get them. I am not moving them to anywhere else, I am DELETING them, so if you want one, grab it now before it's gone FOREVER!!! :)

Sunday, September 24, 2006

$1.00 mini kits!

Posted by JeanellePaige at 2:12 PM 0 friends stopped by to say... Links to this post
I just added my mini kits that I used to have over at ACOT to my shoppe, now for only $1.00 each!! Also, I am still cleaning house, so you better stop in before those items are gone for good!!

Short blog entry, but I have laundry to do. :)

Wednesday, September 20, 2006

Cleaning House!!!

Posted by JeanellePaige at 5:13 PM 0 friends stopped by to say... Links to this post
Posted by JeanellePaige at 2:04 PM 2 friends stopped by to say... Links to this post
I finished the kit. Isat here all day and finished it! While I was finishing it, Brielle and Jillian (2 and 1) were fighting, throwing cat food all over, smearing Thousand Island dressing all over the floor, but hey, it's done!

Click the pic and it will take you to the Shoppe.
Now I have a bit of cleaning to do, lol.

Monday, September 18, 2006

Second post today, I kept my promise

Posted by JeanellePaige at 8:04 AM 5 friends stopped by to say... Links to this post
So, here's something I hadn't blogged about yet. Brian and I were up late Friday night watching a movie and we hear "CRASH BAM BOOM" Brian said, "What the hell was that?" I knew exactly what it was. I said, "A Car missed the stop sign."
So, I called 911. A guy in a truck had fallen asleep at the wheel and didn't stop at the end of the road and came crashing right through our woods! There had been huge logs there as a barricade because that's been the like 6th car to fly through there. Well, the truck hit those logs, and because they had been there a while they were rotting so he blew right through them, until he came to a new log, one that the power company had just cut down and left and as soon as he hit that his back end flipped right over and he landed upside down. The passengers side roof landed right on a stump that was in our yard and caved in. This guy was lucky! He was cut up a little, but that's it! Brian was all freaking out on him, thinking he was drinking, thought he saw a car seat in the car, asking if there were any kids.... The guy was dazed, of course. He asked Brian why we called the cops, lol.
So here are a couple of BAD pics. It was at night and taken through a screen window. Jillian was woken up so I had to stay inside with her. I did go out once to make sure everyone was ok since I had been trained in CPR and such but everyone, well it was just that one guy, was fine.
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The guy came back the next day and apologized, which I thought was such a nice thing to do. He obviously hadn't even been home yet because he still had blood all over his clothes. He asked if he could help clean up the mess. Bran said he would clean the glass but the guy could pick up the rest of his car parts, lol.
So, that was a not so fun night. We finished our movie after the fiasco was over. We were watching Spanglish. It's a great movie with a shitty ending.
The mice are getting bigger now. The bigger they get, the bigger the nest the momma builds. I saw them all up and walking around the other night. It was cute to see. I haven't seen them walking around again though. Once I do, I am moving the cage out to the shed. I will just leave the cage out there with the top off so either they can leave and go somewhere else, or live in there for the winter. Unless mice hibernate, I don't know, lol.
So, here the freebie I promised. It's my first attempt at a desktop calendar. There's 800x600 size, and the bigger size most people use as screen res. I used the things from my new kit in the works that I can't seem to finish. It's called Falloween. Hopefully I will finish it up soon. Click on the preview to DL it. If you get an error message, sopy the link from that browser into a new browser and hit go and it should work.

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Oh, and thanks Heather for the email. How's that for a longer post? :)

Empty promises

Posted by JeanellePaige at 6:37 AM 5 friends stopped by to say... Links to this post
Yet another night of empty promises. Empty promises from myself, Empty promises from others.... I should stop expecting things to happen. I should expect the opposite of what I plan. Maybe I should just put on a happy face and pretend everything is fine so everyone thinks I am normal. I bet this blog is a happy and exciting one to visit huh? When I was giving out freebies it was! I was top #5! WOO HOO popularity because of free shit! Now that I do not have it in me to design and give out freebies I am not popular anymore, my blog is too melancholy to visit. You know that saying? Smile when you enter a room? Well, it's kind of like that. When you enter this room, the orra is BAD!! lol
It's my 'diary' through, I guess. My diary where I can write how I feel, know that someone cares because I get a few comments. That helps. I just want to turn back the time, turn back time to like 2 months ago, to where I was NORMAL!! Or to where at least I THOUGHT I was normal. How many times can I come here and blog about the same damn depressing things?? AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHh!!! Ok, here's a promise I am going to keep. I will be back later, to blog about something else, something better and I will have a freebie. There. that's my promise and I WILL keep it. I will be back later.

Sunday, September 17, 2006

Still not 'normal'

Posted by JeanellePaige at 12:35 PM 3 friends stopped by to say... Links to this post
Really, WTF IS normal? Well, I know it's not this. I know it's not having panic attacks all of the time, not feeling like you can't look into the future because there is none for you. I keep feeling that I am going to die. I am not sure of what, just I know I am going to die. It's all in my head, it is. Stupid brain. I feel like my mind is being tortured by my body and my brain. Tortured. I have been working on a new kit, but usually I can pull a kit out in a day, maybe 2. This time it's been over a week now. I feel alone. I have a house full of people (kids) and a hubby and I still feel alone! Crazy!!
So, I gave in and started a MySpace account trying to find some old friends. I was looking for my old best friend Tracy, but ironically came across an old boyfriend. My 'first' boyfriend if you get my drift. Man I was so young and stupid when I was with him, lol. He was a great guy, broke my heart, but hey, you move on, and get your heart broken again, lol. It's nice talking to him. I have periodically thought about him, wondered where he was, what he was doing. I'm glad he's doing well. I still haven't found the friend I was looking for. I guess if she wanted to find me it would be easy enough. Just type in my first name in google and my blog is #3. I wish my site was, but oh well, lol.
Well, it's nice out, so i am going to let the kids play outside. Once again, sorry for the Sunday Morning Paper Freebie. I am a horrible buisness woman, I just can't design lately. I hope soon, I hope.

Tuesday, September 12, 2006

September 11th, 2001

Posted by JeanellePaige at 6:46 AM 1 friends stopped by to say... Links to this post
This morning I caught up on reading blogs. A lot of my blog buddies wrote about their thoughts and feelings on 9/11 and where they were when it happened. I thought I would do the same here.
I read this blog by a muslim woman and her thoughts. I read other American's blog and their thoughts. Everyone was effected differently. I remember seeing video on the TV that morning of men and little boys overseas jumping and shouting for joy because of the destruction of the American 'people'. That bothered me so much. I thought how can anyone be happy that other human beings are being hurt and killed. I understand how they may hate America for 'putting their noses where they don't belong', but it's just like mulims.. not all muslims are 'bad', not all, or even most like what happened. People are people. We are all human and we are all entitled to beleive in what we want, to follow our own paths and religions.
September 11th, 2001 was my oldest sons first day of preschool. The first day that he was away from me and being cared for by someone else. I was dating someone else at the time. Right after dropping him off, my boyfriend got a call from his mother on his cell saying that a plane had flown into the WTC. We thought maybe it was a small plane, maybe a one seater and maybe it was just an accident. We went home and turned on the TV and coulnd't beleive what we were seeing. I felt so bad. I wanted to go pick my son up early, I honestly don't remember if we did or not. I was glued to the TV thinking this was it, this was the end of the world. (My anxiety thinking the worst) It was horrible. All of these innocent people dying. Even watching NBC last night about flight 93 made me cry. Showing the pictures of these people who were now dead, who can no longer hold their children, kiss their loved ones. I am crying now typing this. I hate war, I hate senseless death. I know that the men who planned this didn't think it was senseless. They had a reason, a purpose.
I used to have friends who took E. (extacy) They all say that they wish everyone would take it. (I never have) They say give these feuding leaders, feuding people some E and they would resolve their differences. People are people, we all have this one life, only this one life. Why can't we just smile at people that are different? Why do we need to be so hateful and judgemental? I hear my 8 year old say things about other people and other kids and he is judgemental. I know he gets it from school. I certainly do not teach him anything like that. I tell him everyone is different, everyone beleives different things, wears different things, thinks different things. I say,"You and your sister are even different!" I teach him to gve everyone a chance. We are all people. It saddens me all of this hatred in the world, all of the bad things. It's not just different countries either, it's down the street from you. Gangs, child molesters, murders, robberies..... I hate it all. I want to live in peace. I want everyone to feel peace in their hearts. I see TV footage now about the war. A man was so destraught because a bomb had been dropped right on a spot where little children were playing. WHY?
It's all too much for me. All of it. I can' change it, I can't change people's views. What I can do is smile at everyone, give everyone a chance and never judge and most importantly, teach my children to do the same. To help someone in need, to love someone that needs love. To befriend a child who doesn't have any friends. I have to teach them looks and popularity don't matter, only who you are does. This is the important thing to teach while they are young and in school because if you teach them that, they will take that into the 'real world' and be better people. Be the kind of people that this world needs, that this world should be.
Remember this: We are who we are, when you look at a stranger do not be quick to judge, you have no clue what their life is like and what hardships they may be going through. Give love, show love, teach love.

Saturday, September 09, 2006

I am back

Posted by JeanellePaige at 7:13 PM 5 friends stopped by to say... Links to this post
I am feeling better now, so I have decided to start getting back to 'business' on the computer like I used to, so the next Sunday Morning Paper Freebie is up. Yes, it's Saturday night, but it's my site and I can do what I want to, lol.

Tuesday, September 05, 2006

First day of school fiasco

Posted by JeanellePaige at 8:21 AM 6 friends stopped by to say... Links to this post
Avery's bus was suppossed to be here at 8:07. Didn't come until 8:50! Aidan's came on time, 8:43ish. So we weren't sure who's damn bus it was! Brian asked. When Avery's bus came the bus driver said that she should be on the same afternoon one, but isn't on the list!! I have been trying to call over and over but it's just busy busy busy. So I decided to blog, and will call again later, lol.
Here's some pics from this morning.

My goofy son, ready for school:
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Avery, not wanting to smile for the camera, but I made her, lol:
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Avery realizing she has to go to school and get on a bus without her brother:
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Poor kid. :(

In other news, Yesturday Brian was cleaning up the back yard and he moved the drained pool and out ran a mouse, with babies suckling on her just dropping off while she is running!!! She ran under something else with 3 of her babies, but on was left behind. Brian called me over because he knew I used to raise mice as pets. Well, I picked up the little baby mouse, not only about 1-2 days old and put it under where the mother mouse was, but she took off again, leaving all of her babies this time. So I yelled at Brian to go get the mother. I scooped up the little babies, some of which I had to pick out of little puddles of cold water!! Brian caught the mother mouse and I made her a nice cage. It's an old cage I used to have for my mice I had too many years ago. I threw in cedar chips, old TP rolls, a makeshift cave made from a garbage bag box with ripped up TP and cotton balls in it. I gave her water and bird seed. For hours she was just scared and sleeping and I keep pushing her babies over to her so they could get warm and nurse. She is really such a calm momma concidering that she is wild! Well, she finally sat on them all, nursed them all. She even got up late last night to eat and drink! There are only 4 babies, and I know that most litters have more than that, but both Brian and I went out like 3 times each combing through the grass and surrounding areas looking for more babies and found nothing. So, we saved the babies we did find. Here's a pic:
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Friday, September 01, 2006

Grand Re-Opening of Digi Scrap Divas!!!!

Posted by JeanellePaige at 9:27 AM 1 friends stopped by to say... Links to this post
Today is the day!! ALL day long there are crops and prizes and sales and FUN!!

At 3 PM EST Tamara and I are having a sketch crop! There is a free layered template to use! We will be also having trivia questions for 6 lucky winnres to recieve coupons to the new shop!

Also, if you spend $30 in the shop and use the coupon code iboughttoomuch you can get the mega kit for FREE!!
Here's a LO I made with the Mega Kit:

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Hope to see you there!!

Wednesday, August 30, 2006

Feeling a tad better

Posted by JeanellePaige at 12:24 PM 7 friends stopped by to say... Links to this post
I am taking one moment at a time, trying to remain calm, trying to remind myself that I am ok, that I am not going to die. I saw my DR and got on new anxiety meds, which seem to help me feel calm and relaxed, as long as I don't let my mind get away from me. Keeping myself busy helps. Avery and Brielle's closets are so clean and organized, lol. It feels good to have that done. I even went in last night just to look at it and admire all of the hard work I did to it. After my DR appt I had an appt with the specialist. I had an hour to kill before that appt though, so I stopped by the cemetary to visit my grandfather's grave. Whenever I am asked who my herois, I always say my grampy. He died in 1999, when my oldest was not even a year old. He died because he was having problems and the hospital gave him coagulants to thicken his blood which caused a stroke. I went to visit him before he died and I was talking to him and crying and even though he couldn't move or talk, I know he was there because he was crying too. I want to make him proud, I want to be like him. He was perfectly fine, always working outside, driving, taking trips... he was a wonderful man. I lived right next to him growing up so I spent a lot of time with him outside, helping him mow lawns, following him around.... He lived life. I went to his grave and cried. I asked him to be with me, give me the strenght to live life like he had. Enjoy everything. This past weekend I was so bad that I was just not functional at all. It helped to talk to him, to get things out, to cry.

So, right now I am keeping myself busy, I am not on the computer too much. I am sorry for all of those who look foward to the Sunday Morning Paper freebie, I just can't do it right now. I take every moment as it comes. I try to breathe better, I don't yell, I don't laugh too hard. I try to remind myself that my body will work the way it is meant to work. My throat is ok and will be ok. I just need some time to get back to being me, to living life like my grandfather did. The computer isn't important. My kids, my husband, my family, and my health are.

Saturday, August 26, 2006

Ended up in the ER

Posted by JeanellePaige at 2:51 PM 9 friends stopped by to say... Links to this post
So, I ended up in the ER last night. It was PACKED so I was there from 9:00 PM to 2:30 AM! It all started yesturday around 10:30 AM. I started feeling panicky, but not too bad really. I tried and tried all day long to 'get out of my head' but I couldn't. I kept fearing that my throat would close up again no matter what I did. I have post nasal drip I think, and that makes my throat feel icky and itchy and when my throat gets itchy that's when it closes up sometimes and I just couldn't stop fearing that it would. I worked myself right up into a full blown severe panic attack. My chest was so heavy and hurting, I was shaking uncontrollably, I was so terrified and dizzy and my fingers were tingly, and my jaw kept feeling like it was going to lock up. I was scared out of my mind! Brian rushed home from work early and my very awesome wonderful friend Wendy who goes to bed at 8 normally came over and drove me to the ER and stayed with me the whole time. She likes to talk, so she talked the whole time which helped so much because I was able to listen to her silly stories and take my mind off of my fears. There were a lot of tramas coming in, so we had to wait on a stretcher in the hallway, lol. So, they did blood work, throat culture, EKG... and found nothing. I am still going this Monday for the throat test and to see a specialist and I pray that whatver they find is totally and easily fixed, IF they even find anything. The ER doc gave me some zanex to calm me down, and it helped a bit. I also asked him to give me a prescription so I can not end up back in the ER again and he did. I went home, went to bed and this morning I woke up and started panicing again!! I tried to calm myself the best I could. I doubled up my regular anxiety meds this morning and that helped. (DR said it was ok) I drove to get my prescription filled for the zanex and took one of those. I still feel like I could start panicing at any moment. I am so tense that my jaw keeps feeling like it will lock up. My heart is having palpitations. I think maybe that could be because I have a cup of coffee, but it could be anxiety related. I just need to keep telling myself, "These symptoms do NOT mean that I am having a panic attack!" because if I think that I am, I will make myself have one. I just don't know HOW to calm down!! I don't know HOW to stop letting my thoughts be consumed with this fear! I WANT TO BE NORMAL AGAIN!!! I need help NOW! I can't stand another freaking moment like this I feel like I am going crazy and I feel like such a burden to my husband, worthless as a mother when I am like this. If any of you know some great relaxation techniques I would LOVE to hear them. Thanks for reading about my insane crazy stupidness.

Thursday, August 24, 2006

Saw the GOOD doctor!

Posted by JeanellePaige at 8:40 PM 3 friends stopped by to say... Links to this post
So I had my appt today. She was nice as always. She sat, heard my concerns and explained things to me. She *thinks* that I might have muscles spasms in my esophagus and because of my anxiety I start to have a panic attack and it makes it worse. She is sending me to an ear, nose, and throat specialist and I am also going to go for that barium swallow test. She explained that they will look for much more then just an abstruction when they do the test. She also upped my anxiety meds. I was taking the lowest dose, 5 mg, but now I have 15 mg. I am a little hesitant to jump from 5 to 15, so I think I am going to just double up on the 5's and wean myself into the 15's. The meds make my head fuzzy and snappy for about an hour after I take them even with the 5's so I want to wean into them slowly. They do work though so I am hoping the higher dose will get me back to when I wasn't having any heart palpitations or bad thoughts. I hate them!!
So, in other news, I did some designing today. I made some really cool Zodiac Charms!!
They're only $2.50 for all 12 charms with the 3 different 'hangers'. You can see them HERE!

Well, I am off for now!

Wednesday, August 23, 2006

Stupid F*cking Doctor!!

Posted by JeanellePaige at 3:54 PM 4 friends stopped by to say... Links to this post
Yah, I am swearing again. I made an appointment to see my doctor because my throat closes up on me and I can't breathe and I am TERRIFIED for it to happen again. It happened back when I was 20ish, happened on and off through out the years and this week it happened twice. I get a tickle in my throat and I cough or swallow and BAM my throat closes up and I can not get ANY air in. It's terrifying not being able to breathe, especially when you don't know if it will open back up and when. It's like my esophogus just clamps down! I was here alone with my 3 year old and 2 year old and what do they know about 911? Nothing! Every time I breathe in, every time I cough, every time I swallow it's all I think about. It's never out of my mind now because I am so scared about it.
So I tried to get an appointment with my regular doctor but she wasn't in today so I got to see a different one. This lady was a JOKE!! The whole time I am in there, which wasn't long at all, she had her hand on the door like she wanted to just leave!! My other doctor sits down and listens, lets me talk even if I have stupid questions. Anyway, she said "It could be allergies." Umm... I don't have any, never have. "It could be panick attacks." Of course I panick, I CAN'T BREATHE!!!!! "It's just a phenomenon." LADY!!!
So she swabs my throat and says there's nothing wrong. Well FIRST of all, I had a temp of 99.9 and my glads are swollen. Second of all, I am TERRIFIED lady!!!
I told her I am terrified it will happen again. I started to CRY because I didn't want to leave her office without some sort of reason or 'fix' to this. She hands me an inhaler and shows me how to use it and I start crying more. LADY how the fuck is this suppossed to help me when I CAN'T BREATHE ANYTHING IN!!!!!! AHHHHHHHHHHHHH
Then she says she can set me up with a barium swollow test to make sure there isn't an abstruction. I told her I know there isn't an abstruction, this has been happening for 10 years now. She says, "Well will the test put you at ease?" NO YOU FUCKING BITCH!!!!! So, bacically she was telling me it is all in my head. So I leave the office and call hubby from my cell and start bawling to him in the parking lot. Did I mention I am TERRIFIED every second of the day that this will happen again? Even sitting here right now, I cough gently, I swallow slowly, it CONSUMES my thoughts!!! So he tells me to walk back in and get an appointment with the doctor I wanted to see, my normal one. So I did. The lady that I saw was right across the hall from my regular one so I walked into my normal doctors office and tried talking to the receptionist there. I said, "I called this morning trying to make an appointment with {so and so} and got stuck with {stupid bitch face}. Then, I started crying again!!! GOD I am so emotional!!!!!! Uggg!!! So, I was crying so hard I couldn't talk, so she talked for me, "And you didn't like {stupid bitch face}?" I shook my head. "And you want to see {so and so}?" I nodded. "Do you want me to make an appointment for you tomoorow morning?" I nodded. Then I felt a bit better and was able to compose myself enough to stop sobbing like a baby and thank her for her help and understanding. I knew the receptionist because I used to watch her kids in my home. She knows I have kids and after I was able to explain what was going on with me and why I was mad this lady just pushed me off she told me to remember her name and if they ever try to get me to see her again to say no. So, Tomorrow I will go to the doctor and get this thing checked out. Until then I will cough gently, swollow carefully and hope and pray this won't happen again.

Tuesday, August 22, 2006

Relationship Blah

Posted by JeanellePaige at 7:58 AM 3 friends stopped by to say... Links to this post
When you fist met your husband were you in 'lust'? Was it crazy in love, can't be away from each other, can't stop thinking about each other amazingness? I understand that feeling doesn't last. You stop 'putting on a show' with each other after a while. You start showing 'the real you'. He starts to see you without your hair and makeup done. You start to see his dirty socks all over the floor. You stop pretending to be wonderful amazing perfect people and feel comfortable enough with each other to be who you are. I think if you find someone like that it can be great, but it can also suck. To have someone that you love so much that you know they will love you no matter what you look like or what messes you leave out is great. It's just if you get into that 'funk' of either not doing, or not having time to do all of those perfect little things you used to do for each other when you first it can start to suck. When you do actually find the time to make yourself 'beautiful' like you used to and it goes un-noticed or you don't get the reactions you used to. When you go to bed and don't sleep in each others arms all night, or even for the first 2 minutes. When you try to talk about your emotions and instead of being consoled like before, you get eye rolls for your 'overly-emotional-you must be PMS'ing' feelings. Right now I am in this funk. The stress of work, house, bills, kids, has taken over my husband and I can't find a way out. I have tried everything from crying to wearing high heels and a pretty little something something standing there when he got home from work. Nothing works with him. It's like the only time I get attention is if it's Valentines day or something like that. So, I decided to stop trying. I am sick of it. I am sick of being so damn lonely in a house when I shouldn't be. I want to smack him and make him realize that all of these things that he stresses about are nothing compared to family and time with the ones you love because you never know when it will end! I didn't sleep in our bed last night. Not because of any of this though. See, Yesturday I took my 2 youngest kids to the doctor to find out they had Coxackie virus. Yah, you're thinking, "What the HELL is that!? That's what I was thinking too! So, they slept all afternoon which means they were up all night. I was up all night before dealing with sick kids. I didn't get to take a nap on the couch but here I am, up the next night too and where is my husband? Sleeping soundly all by himself in a king sized bed at 9:30 at night. Now granted, most people go to bed around that time but we don't. We always stay up until at LEAST 12:00 so I was not happy with him. He didn't kiss me goodnight. We fought about stuff before he went upstairs. Actully, HE argued with me while I sat there and just listened because everytime I try to talk he gets more mad and I didn't feel like dealing with him since I was so tired. I just rolled my eyes and nodded my head, "Sure hubby, whatever you say." So, I had to sleep in my daughter's room on my step-daughters bunk so the little ones would sleep. There really was no other way that they were going to sleep. So, hubby this morning tells me that he woke up at 3 AM and couldn't go back to sleep because I wasn't in bed. He asked why I wasn't in bed. I know he was thinking I was mad at him and that's why he cared and was giving me his puppy dog eyes, rubbing my hair with his hand. As soon as I informed him that it had nothing to do with him, his puppy dog eyes disappeared, he stopped rubbing my hair, and he didn't seem to care as much. I tried talking about how little sleep I got again, second night in a row but since I wasn't mad at him he didn't care much. Did I get a hug? No. He did kiss me goodbye before he left for work, just a usual routine, not a kiss of meaning really. Stress takes over him. That's all he thinks about or consumes himself with and how dare I bring up these petty relationship problems to him! Oh, and yah, I added to the stress Yesturday too. Driving home from the doctor, I had called hubby from the parking lot to tell him the strange virus his daughters had and didn't hang the phone up before I started driving and got nabbed by a copper and got a freaking ticket for driving while on a cell phone. Freaking unbeleiveable!!! I hardly EVER talk on my phone, no one EVER calls it and the ONLY time I use it is to talk to hubby. I am not one of those people who's phone is always ringing and always in their ear, but I am the one who got a ticket. Yah, Yah, Yah, it doesnt matter, I did something illegal and I except that, it's just MAN!!

Sunday, August 20, 2006

3 new products

Posted by JeanellePaige at 4:45 PM 2 friends stopped by to say... Links to this post
Just popping in real quick to post about my 3 new products in the store, 1 of which has a 25% off coupon code!!!

1. For the Boys kit

2. Wisteria Dreams kit

Here's a 25% off coupon for this kit, good through the 27th: wisteriadreamsintroprice

3. Notepaper Alpha

That's it for now!

Friday, August 18, 2006

I was allergic to my computer.

Posted by JeanellePaige at 9:38 AM 1 friends stopped by to say... Links to this post
I tend to go through periods where I just don't want to be on the computer. I hate everything about it. My lack of designing mojo, the lack of important emails, the lack of interesting threads.... I just don't want to be around it. I get headaches and sick to my stomach. So, for the last week I haven't really been on. My house is pretty darn clean though!! Upstairs is TOTALLY clean and that NEVER happens! My philosophy, no one ever goes up there and sees it except us and it's only when we sleep so it's out of sight, out of mind. Now though, it's all nice. I had help from a friend and from the kids. Our master bathroom is clean. That was a feet since Brian uses it. It's his bathroom and that man is a slob! The room off of our bedroom is clean, our bedroom is clean, even the closets are clean!! The kids rooms are clean and their bathroom is clean, which is my bathroom too. Everything was clean before, just clutterd. There is, to me, a big difference between dirty and cluttered. We are not dirty people, just disorganized cluttered people. Well, not so much anymore after the cleaning rampage that took place. I even folded all of the dreaded laundry and put it away! I hate folding and putting it away. 6 people in this house! It's like doing a job and having to do it again the next day. Never ends! Nudists colonies sound good to me when the laundry piles up. Our washer and drier are in the cellar so it's harder to do laundry. I swear everytime the kids hear the cellar door close and my feet going down the steps they think it's their cue to start war! Someone always ends up screaming and I run up the stairs to see whos dying only to find someone stole someone elses toy. Then go backdown stairs to finish putting the ungrateful little boogers clothes in the washer so they can be nice and clean only to have them dirty them 10 minutes after throwing them on. Argh! I said I hate laundry but hate really isn't a strong enough word.
My birthday was last Friday. I am 29 now. It was an ok birthday. Brian got me a card my mom got me some tiny picture frames and a pretty candle holder and picture book ends. Those are cool. Wasn't a big happy eventful birthday. It was alright though.
Here the next picture of Michelle. She really had to wait a while for her hair to grow back after that buzz cut. This time she's sporting some cool ear rings and 'hair dye'.
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I think she needs a new buzz because the paint is stuck in there even though it was washable.
I guess I still am allergic to this computer because I just don't feel like typing anymore. I can't even think what to blog about. I know some funny stuff happened this past week but it's not coming to me. So, bye for now.

Thursday, August 10, 2006

60% OFF!!!

Posted by JeanellePaige at 7:14 PM 8 friends stopped by to say... Links to this post

Sunday, August 06, 2006

Ahhhh Mommy time!!!

Posted by JeanellePaige at 7:03 PM 6 friends stopped by to say... Links to this post
First of all I want to thank everyone for their comments and emails. It's really good to know that I am not alone. Alone in the sense of my paranoia, and alone in dealing with these sorts of feelings. I am coping one day at a time and it's feeling much better.
So, here I sit with a glass of wine having mommy time. Earlier I asked the kids to clean their playroom and that if they did it in 15 minutes I would give them 5 bucks each. Aidan whined and complained that it was impossible. I told him it's not and that I could do it and he should have no problem because there's 4 of them. He said wanna bet? Sure I do! If I clean it in 15 minutes then you guys will go to bed at 8 o'clock. So, I cleaned it and organized it with 2 minutes to spare! He was so mad and upset, saying that he crossed his fingers and it wasn't fair. He let it go though, maybe thinking that if he didn't mention it I would forget or something as sometimes I am known to do that, lol. Well, I didn't forget and I mentioned it to him. It was about 7 o'clock. Then he tells me NO! I am not going to bed at 8, NOT NOT NOT!! Yah, little booger giving me his attitude, lol. So, HE decides to make another bet!! At first I told him no but I was feeling a little bad about sending them to bed that early so I took it. His bet was if he could throw the ball higher than I can then they don't have to go to bed at 8. If I DO throw it higher than him then they go to bed at 7:30. Ok, ok, I will take that bet. I honestly didn't think I would win anyway. So, I let him go first. He throws the ball. It Hit far above Avery's window on the second floor of the house. Ok, my turn. I hit the roof!! I start dancing around shakin' my booty singing the "hee hee I won" song, lol. He says that he gets another chance, kind of like a 2 out of 3 thing so I say OK. He throws it again and he hits pretty high. I threw it again and it goes OVER the roof! More dancing, yah, that's right, I am the man, errr MOM! LOL! So then he tries to convince me if he throws it again he will win even though it would mean I won twice and he won once. I said nope, you bet, you lost. 7:30 it is. (Am I a mean mom? My mother would think so, but I believe I am teaching him a lesson on not renigging on bets) So, he argues with me why he thinks HE won for about 10 minutes then starts getting MAD at me! He stomping around kicking balls in the house telling me I am not fair. He kicked a ball and knocked the DVD's off of the top of the TV and then I had had it. I sent him to bed at 7:20 for his attitude. (Again, and I a mean mom?) So he is yelling at me about how I am an adult and I shouldn't have made a bet with a child about throwing a ball because I am older and can throw higher (but the reason HE made the bet is because he's in baseball and what the heck does mom know about throwing balls right?) So, I really didn't want him to go to bed, he wasn't being BAD or anything (except only because he was upset) it's just that I couldn't make him learn this lesson about betting if I let him stay up you know? He tries to bet money all the time with Avery and sometimes his friends so I needed to make him learn this lesson about if you lose, you lose. It makes sense in my head, you know the logical mommy head. The head that tries the best to teach their kids lessons so they can go out into the real world someday, but the other mommy head, the soft mushy one feels bad. I feel guilt and feel that I am mean and bad. I hate being torn like that, it eats me inside!!
So, my 1 year Anniversary was last Thursday, August 3rd. Brian had to work so we had planned celebrate after he got home that night at 9:30ish with a nice dinner or something that he brought home from work. I kissed him goodbye on his way to work, he called me on his break to say he loves me like he always does. About 2 hours after he left for work I was outside and I hear the door open and turn around and it's HIM standing there with a bouquet of flowers!!! I was so stunned, surprised and confused, lol. All WEEK he was complaining that they wouldn't let him have the night off but he was lying the whole time! He DID have it off but pretended to go to work and instead went to the store and got flowers, steak and lobster!! (Lobster is my FAV FAV FAV!!) So he won the hubby of the day award, lol.
Ok, I haven't been designing much lately. I should be because I am selling at so many places I need to keep up, lol. I think I got myself in way over my head! I have been scrapping on the other hand. I am on Melany Violette's CT. Yah, another thing that takes away from designing, lol. I love being on her CT though. She was a HUGE inspiration to me when I was learning to design. I would go and ohh and ahhh at her stuff and try to be like her. We do have a similar style, but I think I have taken on a little of my own now in the past few months. I still love Melany's stuff to pieces though! She's the only CT I will ever be one because I really don't like using other people's stuff in my LO's, but hers I do. I'm weird like that, lol.
So, here are some LO's that I made today!

This is my son's fake smile, lol. He just doesn't take great pics so I don't scrap him much, but I decided to just scrap him in all his 'fake smile' glory anyways!

Melany Violette's Cinnamon and Blueberry Pie kit at Simply Clean Digi Scraps.
Background Paper is from Mel's Natural Essentials Paper Pack blog freebie.
Alpha is Corkboard alpha by Jeanelle Paige at PDW.

I never liked that name, tomboy. Everyone always said I was one too, but here I am telling my daughter she is too, lol.

Melany Violette's Whimsy kit at Simply Clean Digi Scraps.
Gems are from my Birthstone Gems at Sweet Digi Creations.

I couldn't resist snapping some pics when Brian picked up a book when Brielle said, "Daddy will you read me a book?"

Credits: Melany Violette's Cute as a Button kit at Simply Clean Digi Scraps.

They kind of look crappy because I used HTML to resize them to 400 px instead of the 500 that they were because if i didn't do that then my blog would be all messed up, but you can click on each of them to bring you to my gallery to see them nicer. :D
So, that's about it for this post. OH!! My new Sunday Morning Paper freebie is up on my site, so go and grab it!! ( Ok, THAT'S it! :D

Wednesday, August 02, 2006

I have to be honest with myself

Posted by JeanellePaige at 9:23 PM 18 friends stopped by to say... Links to this post
Before I get honest with myself, I just want to post about my new Fabric Flowers! You can see them HERE.
Ok, don't feel like uploading a stinking pic to blogger because it always takes so freaking long, so you'll have to deal with the link.
So, now to be honest with myself.
A while back I blogged about being diagnosed with anxiety disorder and OCD. I was on meds (still am) but it seems to be coming back. Not only are the crazy irrational thoughts and fears back, but now it seems I am now paranoid about everything too! I think people are conspiring against me, even hubby, I think people hate me, think I am annoying. Hell, maybe I AM annoying and I just can't see it? Maybe I am NOT being paranoid and all of the little things that just don't add up really ARE something? I have upped my meds, DR. said it was ok to do so, but it ain't helping. I don't know what to do. An hour after I take my meds I am a little 'buzzed' for about 1-2 hours. Not sleepy, just buzzed. I can't take it MORE or I would be a freaking walking zombie!! I can't STOP because what if it gets worse than it is now? I really feel so helpless right now and because of my paranoia I feel alone. Like the whole world is whispering about me behind my back and I hate it. I send emails, don't get responces, I post posts, don't get responces, someone IM's me and says "I guess you are in bed." Even when I am TYPING to them!!! I SWEAR I am losing my freaking MIND! can anyone relate? Is anyone out there? Does anyone care even if you are out there? Here I sit typing this when I am supossed to be hanging out with hubby and watching our shows, but HE is watching freaking boxing!!! He knows I HATE boxing. Tomorrow is our anniversary, 1 year of marriage. He is supossed to work all day long, 9am-10pm. He says he is going to bring something home from work, something nice for us to eat, have a nice late dinner. I think it would be nice. let's hope it happens.
See, now reading this I hope no one thinks this is some big ole freaking pity party because it is not. I am blogging for me, to gt my feelings out and yes, I will be calling the DR and making an appointment because I just can't live like this anymore. i can't stand my own thoughts and my own feelings and my own voices that keep me up laying in bed for 2 hours after I first layed down.
So, that's the end of my post. Hopefully I will have a better tone tomorrow. I hope for me that I do.

Tuesday, August 01, 2006

I've been busy!!

Posted by JeanellePaige at 9:40 AM 29 friends stopped by to say... Links to this post
So, too busy to blog. Blooging to me is like, if I have a free moment and I can gather my thoughts I will sit down and blog. I haven't been able to do that lately though!! Too many things to do, too many things going on inside my head! For the past week it has taken me over an hour every night to fall asleep!! Rediculous!
So, today is going to be a HOT one! Kim, a fellow NY'er has already scrapped about it today! YIKES!!

Important Message

Excessive heat warning in effect from 10 AM this morning to 8 pm edt Wednesday.

Partly sunny. A chance of showers and thunderstorms this morning. Warmer. More humid with highs in the upper 90s. Southwest winds 10 to 15 mph. Chance of rain 50 percent. Heat Index values up to 112 this afternoon.

112!!! That's CRAZY!!! We won't be going outside at all today let me tell you!! My poor poor hubby is working in this shit! He works at a resturant in a KITCHEN where there is no air conditioning and it's always hotter in the kitchen then outside and I hope he stays hydrated! I am worried about him. :(
So, new exciting news!! I am now selling at PDW!! YAY!! Here's a link to my stuff there: LINK
Here are some previews of my new stuff:
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The Pink Papers are gorgeous!! I have been looking for this shade of pink forever and just decided to make it myself. The papers look wonderful layered on kraft paper! I can't wait to scrap with these things! When I get some freaking time, LOL!
So, Michelle fans, it's been a while since she had a hair cut. Her hair wasn't growing too well and I didn't know why!! Well, it's because some dummy (me) forgot to put her little rope inside of her water glass and she wasn't getting water!! So, today I think her hair is finally long enough to do something with after that buzz cut, lol. Since it is so hot out today that's what we will be doing, playing hair dresser with Michelle. The kids and I have a funny idea, so I will be back later with a pic, again, if I get some time! Kids have been driving me crazy!!
Ok, off to change the laundry over. Had to wash my sheets because Jillian's diaper leaked, yuk. That's one of the down sides of co-sleeping. Oh well, I wouldn't have it any other way! :)

Oops! I forgot to add this little freebie!

Enjoy! Leave me some love please if you take it. We all love to be loved!! :)

Wednesday, July 26, 2006

Rut Roh!!

Posted by JeanellePaige at 9:36 AM 0 friends stopped by to say... Links to this post
(The title will be explained in a bit, lol)

So, we went to Six Flags yesturday. Love those season passes!! Aidan is the only one tall enough to go on the bigger rides and Brian has no problem taking him on them because he is a big kid himself, lol. So, it gets quite boring for Avery, Brielle, Jillian and myself. Seems we're always waiting for them to get off of a ride. We waited almost an hour for one ride! During that hour Gatorade was spilled inside of the wagon and cleaned up. Then pilled all over Jillian because she is too little to lift a big bottle up to her face and tell when to stop tipping, LOL! You should have seen the look on her face, her eyes bugged out, blur gaterade all over her... it was so funny! Of course I didn't think to bring some extra clothes. Forgot the freaking camera too! Gosh, I have been a mom for 8 years and have 4 kids, you would think I was a pro by now! I upladed all of the pics off of my camera to clear it off too and the thing sat here all day! We're going back today anyway. Did I say I love season passes? :D
So, They have a Looney Tunes part for the little ones. If you are too short, you have to be accumpanied by a larger person. If you are too tall, you have to be accumpanied by a smaller person. It's funny to me. So, I wanted Jillian and Brielle to have some fun and I was thinking the little roller coaster they have in there for the little kids should be fun right? WRONG!!! That thing was faster and rougher than a bigger roller coaster in another part of the part that only Aidan is tall enough to go on!! I had my arm around Jillian so she wouldn't slam into the side of the car because this thing was whipping around fast! So, I have a contusion on my arm!! It's all swollen up and black and blue! I hurts!! I also got a bruise on my leg and back!! Freaking thing beat me up!! At least Jillian didn't get hurt though!
It was a hot day so I wanted to run through this little water thing real fast to get Jillian and I a tad wet to cool down. It just sprays some water on you. Well, we started walking through and Avery walked right in front of us and stopped so we're standing getting soaked in the water! Oh well, it was a hot day, lol.
So, here's the rot roh part of the story, lol. Scooby Doo was walking around and saying hi to the kids. There's always a worker walking around with the characters because they can't see in those suits. Well this worker wasn't doing their job. This little girl ran up to Scooby to give him a hug and Scooby FELL ON HER!!! The poor girl starts crying and her parents tell her to say sorry to Scooby! Probably because the parents were embarrassed, but still!!! That worker should have said sorry!! So, that girl will never like Scooby again! LOL! She'll be on Dr. Phil talking about her unrational fear of Scooby Doo, LOL!
So, I think that's it. We're going back tonight. This time I will remember to bring the camera!!

Sunday, July 23, 2006

All About Jillian!

Posted by JeanellePaige at 2:19 PM 0 friends stopped by to say... Links to this post
Yesturday was Jillian's 2nd Birthday!
I can't beleive she is two. So sad! She's my 4th and last baby, *sniff*.
Instead of having a party Brian and I took her to Walmart to pick out what she wanted! The only one of her siblings that were home at that time was Brielle so it wouldn't have been much of a party anyway. She had a blast though. Running around, touching and playing with toys, handing me the ones she wanted.

Credits:Credits: Cute as a Button kit by Melany Violette at Sweet Shoppe.
The background page is a freebie on her blog.
Most of the alphas were taken from various kits on her Girls CD at her own Shoppe.

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Credits: Cute as a Button kit by Melany Violette at Sweet Shoppe and
flowers from Glitter and Sequins by Mel at Sweet Shoppe too!

So, she got Dora toys, Dora Movies, Dora dolls, Dora game..... LOL! She got some clothes and other toys too.
When asked she would say she was 3! Brian and I would tell her that she is 2 today, but she would INSIST that she was 3 and get mad when we didn't agree, LOL!!

Credits: Polka Dot paper from Baby Face kit at Sweet Digi Creations.
Everything else is Melany Violette's Baby Doll kit on her Girls CD from
Simply Clean Digi Scraps and the glitter flower is
from Sweet Shoppe; Mel's Glitter and Sequins pack.

We took her to Daddy's work for dinner too. He's a cook at a family resturant. He had to work that night, but Brielle, Jillian and I went in for dinner. Brian had the waitresses come out with a little cup of ice-cream with a candle in it for her, lol. They sang Happy Birthday to her. She was shy so she buried her face in my neck. It was really sweet though. My eyes teared up because daddy did that for her. He's a great daddy!!

Also, she has been going on the potty for about 5 days now!! She will come to me and tell me when she has to go and I will take her and put her on and she will go potty!! She JUST turned 2!! I am so amazed and proud of her. We thought Brielle was a very smart girl, talking in sentances by 18 months, but Jillian has been doing that a LOT longer than 18 months! She is amazing! She can say anything she wants, just like the other kids. She also can count up past 20, and say her ABC's and drink out of a cup without a top and now potty training!!! Amazing I tell you!! She also can sing songs from the radio, LOL!! The one here on my blog, Had A Bad Day, by Daniel Powter.... she knows ALL the words and sings it too!! (OOPS- I HAD that one on my blog, it's Five for Fighting right now, LOL)

The only problems I have with her is her attitude. She can be very mean to Brielle (biting, pinching, hiting, scratching) and she will yell at me when she is not happy, lol. I am not too worried about it because she knows she gets punished and in trouble so as soon as she learns that she never gets away with it so why bother then I am sure she will stop. Well, off to pick up and play Dora Chutes and Ladders!! :)


..Life.. as I know it. {JPDESIGNS}