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Ok ladies, I need some help!!! I'll take ANY advice here! My youngest daughter.... she's
19 months old, and she's... I am ashamed to say it.... a BITER!! She is also a scratcher, a hiter, a hair puller, a pincher.... AHHHHHHH!!! None of my other kids were ever like this! None of them did ANY of these things!! Jillian, my sweet angel baby, has now turned into a......
MEAN MONSTER!!!
Brian thinks it's because she sees the other kids playing and wrestling around and she is doing it too. The other kids dont hurt each other like that, but maybe Jillian just doesn't know the difference. She doesn't hurt them when she is mad, she hurts them when she is playing around. She thinks it's funny too. She will scratch Brielle in the face and laugh, even when Brielle is crying and BLEEDING, she still laughs! I ask her, "Did you hurt Brielle?" She looks at me smiling, "No."
So, I have started 'The Naughty Chair"
When Jillian hurts someone, she has to sit in the chair. I don't use the chair for any other bad behaivior except for when she hurts someone. If she is chasing after one of them looking like she is going to hurt them I warn her about the chair. She usually stops after the warning. When I put her in the chair, I tell her why she is in the chair, and why what she did was wrong and that she can get out if she says she is sorry. She hates saying that she's sorry, so she usually sits there for about 2 minutes because that's how long it takes her to apologize. She sometimes cries when she's in the chair, sometimes laughs.
I am really at a loss. My other kids are so well behaved, well mannered.... and then there's Jillian. I know I spoil her. I spoil her with love, I do. She is my last baby and I know this and I don't like that I will never have any other babies, so I spoil her. She's still nursing, still co-sleeping.... but these are the only things that she gets more than the other kids. I really do treat them the same so I don't know how she could have turned into this monster! I want to cry! She used to be such a sweet angel! Layed back, goes with the flow, cuddle bug angel!
Please, if you have gone through this, or have any advice I will gladly take it!!
Saturday, March 11, 2006
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4 friends stopped by to say...:
Your doing the right thing. She will learn that the naughty chair is not someplace she wants to be. How long does she sit in the chair?? At her age she should only be there for a few minutes. Hang in there this stage will pass... and something else will take it's place!!
Jeanelle, I went through this stage with my youngest Taylor. He was an aggressive child at that time because he wanted attention. We have learned over time that Taylor is a natural born leader and a very independent child...and has to be the center of attention and he has to control he environment...something I think he learned as a defense mechanism with being the younger child. He is now 5 and the bitting stage has come and gone...we did use a time out chair...and over time he did learn that was a place he didn't like because it was the place that we did not give him attention...so sweetie this too shall pass...isn't amazing how different each child is...
Katherine does this to Elizabeth - E is the only child she bites (thankfully she's not doing it in the church nursery). We've taught Elizabeth to watch when they're playing and if Nin starts to bite or pinch or hit - she's to help her not do that by jumping back and saying "Nin-Nin, no biting! Nin-Nin, no biting!" (like Dora and Boots do Swiper the fox). This alerts me that there's about to be a problem and I can intervene if I'm not in the room with them. We use time out (2 minutes...one for each year of her age, even though she won't be two until May), too. I think the naughty chair is an excellent idea.
Katherine is at the age where she's learning to assert herself and doesn't quite know how to do it - and Jillian is right there in that same "toddler" mode. They'll both grow out of it...the question is, will we have any hair left before they do or will we have pulled it all out wondering "Argh, how do I deal with this?!"
On an LOL note, one day I heard Elizabeth say "Nin-Nin, no biting!" and then, like Swiper, I heard Katherine say, "Oh maaaa-aaan!" ROFL!!!
I was informed about the naughty chair/stool when I recently watched an old episode of Oprah (we don't get Oprah's real-time broadcast here in Manila so I rely heavily on the episodes they show over here) and I have already been implementing this to my son when he gets very naughty or he does those nasty things. It's actually starting to work with us.
I don't know until when kids will be in this stage but I think it's something we have to live with as parents at one point. I'm sure this will all pass in time. You're a good parent and this is a challenge that I know you'll pass with flying colors.
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