Had a rough day

Well, today I had conferences with the kids teachers. I didn't tell my ex about them because 1.He had to work , and 2.They are usually quick simple meetings.
Well, today was not simple, nor quick.
Aidan's conference went well. He is doing better than he ever has been. The only thing he needs to work on is slowing down and taking his time. He likes to rush and be the first one done, get it done fast to go onto the next thing.... kind of like me, lol!

Avery's was a different story. She is still having socialization problems, clinging to her teacher, not really wanting to participate in a group, can't remember all of the things that she should be by now, happy and content in her own little world, feeling un-confident in herself to be able to do the things that she can.....
The teacher said she isn't that far behind that she wants to hold her back, but she is afraid if she goes onto first grade she will get even further behind. She suggested summer school, but the summer school program is not very ono-on-one and helpful to students who need extra help. There's another thing she suggested, Pre-1st grade. This is a great program with lots of extra help and great specialized teachers. The thing is, if she does this, it will mean she goes into this grade while everyone else goes into 1st, and then when she should be in second, that's when she will start 1st, so she will be a year behind. Also, it is a totally different school than the one she is in now. She will be getting on a different bus than Aidan and going to a different school than him for a whole year! I got ahold of my ex at work and he and his new wife came by to talk to Brian and me. We all decided that this Pre-1st program would be the best thing for Avery. My mother, who is a teacher, sayd that going to a different school and getting on a different bus will be good for her independance, but working with special teachers for a whole nother year might make her feel dependant on them.
Ugg.
So, while the teahcer was telling me all of this, I wanted to cry. My eyes started to well up. I really had to stop myself from breaking down. Things like this really make a parent feel like they are just not doing their job. Avery's teacher is really great. Aidan had her, and I requested her especially for Avery, and will be doing the same for Brielle and Jillian too. She really is a wonderful teacher. So, then I think it must be me, a bad mom, my daughter is behind, maybe I had too many kids and I can't give her the one-on-one time that she needs, maybe she has middle-child syndrome, maybe this and maybe that....... Then I need to step back and realize that this isn't about me, it's about Avery and what Avery needs. I can't sit here and think those things, I need to take a deep breath, try my hardest, learn new things to try and do with her. I also need to realize that all kids are different. Avery has always been introverted, and observer, a dreamer.... this is who she will always be, but I can help her to be the BEST her.
So, the teacher is going to email me with more info about this program, info about things that I can do with her here at home. I just hope that I can do the best that I can for my daughter.