Wednesday, August 23, 2006

Stupid F*cking Doctor!!

Posted by JeanellePaige at 3:54 PM
Yah, I am swearing again. I made an appointment to see my doctor because my throat closes up on me and I can't breathe and I am TERRIFIED for it to happen again. It happened back when I was 20ish, happened on and off through out the years and this week it happened twice. I get a tickle in my throat and I cough or swallow and BAM my throat closes up and I can not get ANY air in. It's terrifying not being able to breathe, especially when you don't know if it will open back up and when. It's like my esophogus just clamps down! I was here alone with my 3 year old and 2 year old and what do they know about 911? Nothing! Every time I breathe in, every time I cough, every time I swallow it's all I think about. It's never out of my mind now because I am so scared about it.
So I tried to get an appointment with my regular doctor but she wasn't in today so I got to see a different one. This lady was a JOKE!! The whole time I am in there, which wasn't long at all, she had her hand on the door like she wanted to just leave!! My other doctor sits down and listens, lets me talk even if I have stupid questions. Anyway, she said "It could be allergies." Umm... I don't have any, never have. "It could be panick attacks." Of course I panick, I CAN'T BREATHE!!!!! "It's just a phenomenon." LADY!!!
So she swabs my throat and says there's nothing wrong. Well FIRST of all, I had a temp of 99.9 and my glads are swollen. Second of all, I am TERRIFIED lady!!!
I told her I am terrified it will happen again. I started to CRY because I didn't want to leave her office without some sort of reason or 'fix' to this. She hands me an inhaler and shows me how to use it and I start crying more. LADY how the fuck is this suppossed to help me when I CAN'T BREATHE ANYTHING IN!!!!!! AHHHHHHHHHHHHH
Then she says she can set me up with a barium swollow test to make sure there isn't an abstruction. I told her I know there isn't an abstruction, this has been happening for 10 years now. She says, "Well will the test put you at ease?" NO YOU FUCKING BITCH!!!!! So, bacically she was telling me it is all in my head. So I leave the office and call hubby from my cell and start bawling to him in the parking lot. Did I mention I am TERRIFIED every second of the day that this will happen again? Even sitting here right now, I cough gently, I swallow slowly, it CONSUMES my thoughts!!! So he tells me to walk back in and get an appointment with the doctor I wanted to see, my normal one. So I did. The lady that I saw was right across the hall from my regular one so I walked into my normal doctors office and tried talking to the receptionist there. I said, "I called this morning trying to make an appointment with {so and so} and got stuck with {stupid bitch face}. Then, I started crying again!!! GOD I am so emotional!!!!!! Uggg!!! So, I was crying so hard I couldn't talk, so she talked for me, "And you didn't like {stupid bitch face}?" I shook my head. "And you want to see {so and so}?" I nodded. "Do you want me to make an appointment for you tomoorow morning?" I nodded. Then I felt a bit better and was able to compose myself enough to stop sobbing like a baby and thank her for her help and understanding. I knew the receptionist because I used to watch her kids in my home. She knows I have kids and after I was able to explain what was going on with me and why I was mad this lady just pushed me off she told me to remember her name and if they ever try to get me to see her again to say no. So, Tomorrow I will go to the doctor and get this thing checked out. Until then I will cough gently, swollow carefully and hope and pray this won't happen again.

4 friends stopped by to say...:

Rona on 8/23/2006 7:55 PM said...

Oh Jeanelle, you poor thing!!!! Reading about what you went through made ME mad at that stupid doctor! Sheesh! I'm with you --- I love it when a doctor actually SITS down WITH you and answers all your questions.

I'm glad you were able to get the appointment with the other doctor.

Hope you feel better!

Darlene on 8/25/2006 4:55 PM said...

Oh Jeanelle...gosh hon that's so, so scary...'m with you though. Many years ago my hubby suffered a closed head injury from a car accident & had a tracheotomy...and there have been many times when he eats that he just chokes...sometimes he's able to bring it up but most times not & it's so scary not being able to breathe...he's had that test also & for him it's the scaring that causes it...which isn't reassuring cuz it means it can happen again. I don't even know what you go through or how to help except to say...we're thinking & praying for you and if it happens to try to relax - that's hard I know...but if its the anxiety causing it - it may ease whats happening a little.
ps: I know you have a 3yr old & their little but little ones are sometimes the most extraordnary heros in emergencies - I'd teach him 911 - you'll be amazed sweetie!!!


Deb on 8/30/2006 4:11 PM said...

My brother went to a sub doctor who gave him this horrible time about getting an antidepressant refill. He was so furious at her he had to call me just to vent.

It's funny reading 'marriage blah' stories cause I just went through this 'boohoo I'm single and I want passion in my life' episode but then my married friends say stuff like this and I stop feeling sorry for myself cause their reality doesn't seem very romantic.

Sounds like you need to take a break and just chill. I think the Digiscrap world can suck a lot of energy and I'm not even a designer.

Donna (kygirl) said...

Jeanelle, your description of a tickle in your throat and the feeling that your throat is closing is exactly what happens to me when I'm having an asthma attack brought about my allergies. Mine went undetected for years because I don't do the characteristic wheezing.
Hope you're bettter soon.


..Life.. as I know it. {JPDESIGNS}